Not too long into Tamara Jenkins’ latest film, Private Life, it becomes obvious that the film is very much informed by very real experiences. A quick online search confirms that she went through an emotionally straining experience with her husband as they were going through infertility struggles. That perspective seeps into every frame of the film, and gives it a sense of honesty that likely wouldn’t be there had anyone else been behind this project.
The film follows Richard (Paul Giamatti) and Rachel (Kathryn Hahn), an upper-middle class New York couple who are in their 40s, and they are trying every means possible to have a child. She’s taking hormones to hopefully stimulate egg production, he finds out he’s blocked, and they’re also taking steps toward adoption at the same time. Things aren’t turning out well in their efforts, but after a doctor makes a suggestion, they begin looking for an egg donor. And in comes Sadie (Kalyi Carter), their niece and recent college dropout, who comes to crash at their place while she figures things out. When Sadie finds out about her aunt and uncle’s predicament, she agrees to be their donor.
And before you ask, don’t worry, the movie made sure to let you know that Sadie and Richard are not blood related.
If you are familiar with Tamara Jenkins, she only has two other films to her credit, Slums of Beverly Hills and The Savages, both wonderful films that explore complex characters stuck in even more complex situations, and she has a way of digging into the story with sharp humor and brutal honesty. The same can definitely be said of Private Life, which is easily her most personal film to date. It’s a very intimate story, but you get a sense of how big it is in the perspective of the characters. You see how each little procedure, setback, progress, failure build overtime, and you see how it affects the characters, even in small, seemingly insignificant ways.
Giamatti and Hahn are perfectly cast here, and they work together beautifully. You can easily imagine their history together, the struggles they’ve gone through, it’s all in the details and the subtle, often unspoken, ways they interact in the quiet moments in between the heavier beats. And of course, when the film leans on the humor, the two are effortlessly funny, and the film is smart enough to allow the humor to come from character, and it never goes too far. The film is able to strike a good balance between the comedic beats, and the more somber and melancholic tone.
The supporting cast is strong as well. John Carroll Lynch plays Richard’s supportive brother, and Molly Shannon plays the not-so-supportive sister-in-law, and perhaps more importantly, they are Sadie’s parents. They don’t get many scenes, but when they do show up, they bring an interesting dynamic to the situation. Shannon in particular really shines, and the writing allows for more interesting emotions to be explored since the film doesn’t just treat her as the bad guy who doesn’t approve of her daughter donating her eggs. I also can’t forget to mention Carter, who is wonderful as Sadie. She brings really colorful dialogue to life, and there’s an understated quality to the way she handles the emotional conflict between her and her mom. She’s kind, supportive, earnest, and in many ways, grows to become the heart of the film.
If I had to nitpick, I suppose I would’ve preferred the film to show in someway why Richard and Rachel are so adamant about having a child, and what keeps motivating them to continue their journey, but at the end of the day, the story about infertility isn’t really the point of it. Private Life is mostly about the minuscule, but building hurt and desperation that people are willing to endure in trying to make their loved ones happy. It’s a film that is made with a lot of love, and Tamara Jenkins extends that love to all of her characters. It’s a deeply empathetic film, one that is brutally honest, and also slyly witty. It’s a beautiful film and a profoundly human one, and I hope Jenkins doesn’t take another decade to make another film.