If you’re expecting Leaving Neverland to be the ultimate exposé on Michael Jackson, that’s not entirely what you’re going to get. There are maybe a few details that can be considered new in regards to the sexual abuse allegations made against the King of Pop, but the majority of the film isn’t as focused on the sensationalism of that case as much as it is about the long term emotional and psychological effects that come from the kind of trauma that victims, Wade Robson and James Safechuck, were forced to deal with.

Like The Tale last year, Leaving Neverland dives headfirst into the complex web of emotions that come out of unpacking abuse that was experienced at a young age, and how the ramifications follow you as you grow older. We see footage of Wade and James when they were young and wide-eyed when they first meet Michael Jackson, idolizing him, especially as they were being treated with the high life. We all know what’s coming, but when they do get around to explicitly describing the incidents, it hits hard. Yet, as they go on, we get a look at how the thought process works when a victim prefers to either keep things quiet, pretend everything is OK, or even go as far as to defend the abuser.

Many people see cases of sexual assault, especially now in the #MeToo Movement, in ways that are often too simplistic. Something bad happened, you report it, and it’s dealt with by the proper authorities, everyone lives happily ever after. The problem is, that is not how any of this works, even taking the flaws in the justice system aside, the way trauma can make you act in ways that seem counterintuitive is always going to be a major hurdle for victims, and having the documentary take its time to allow the men, as well as their families, to really talk in depth about what happened and why things turned out the way they did, is the kind of experience that is absolutely essential in understanding the complications of sexual trauma, particularly at the hands of someone with immense power.

Speaking of time, the film clocks in at four hours, and it’s a pretty grueling four hours. It’s a rough sit, as they describe in detail, not only the actual abuse, but the pain that branched out of it, the way it changed family dynamics, self-esteem, and the way they repress those emotions until it finally boils over. It’s relentlessly open and candid and honest about the truth of these men, and what they went through. It’s smart that HBO split the film into two parts, but you should consider taking several breaks as you watch it, just so it doesn’t become too much.

The film has been targeted by…let’s just call them “passionate” fans of Jackson, going all the way back to its inception, to its premiere at Sundance, where protesters stood by the theater, and even now, countless fans are swarming anyone promoting the doc on social media. It’s a shame for pretty obvious reasons because even if you take the sexual abuse out of the equation, you still have a situation where a powerful man, idolized by the world, behaved very inappropriately and manipulated the emotions of young children, and set them on destructive paths that will scar them for the rest of their lives in ways they would never have seen coming. That’s undeniable, and it’s something the obsessive fans need to reckon with.

I do wish the documentary was a bit more far reaching in terms of providing more context, similar to something like OJ: Made In America. There are so many other people who were a part of Michael Jackson’s life that do not appear here. However, given the focus of the film, it is appropriate that we keep the perspective limited to Wade, James, and their families so that the impact is more intimate and immediate. The only other thing that I could nitpick is that the filmmaking is pretty standard, with lots of cutting between talking heads and footage, going back-and-forth. It can sometimes feel a bit dry and monotonous, but I suppose one could argue that adding any unnecessary stylistic flourish might take away from the words being spoken, which is the whole point of this.

Over the last few days, as I anticipated/dreaded watching this, whenever I would be driving and listening to the radio, eventually a Michael Jackson song would pop up, and I found myself changing stations. Now having seen the doc, I have a hard time imagining any scenario where I would purposefully seek out and listen to one of his songs. I’m not saying you have to feel the same way, but for me, the legacy has been tainted, and it’s become all the more necessary to learn how to deal with finding out an artist you love might not be as great a person as you might’ve hoped. That’s not being a sheep or some conspiracy nut or whatever, that’s just reality, and it’s time we collectively accepted that Neverland has always been nothing but fiction.

If you or someone you know is dealing with sexual abuse, assault, or violence, you can get support from RAINN through their free and confidential hotline at 1-800-656-4673, or their online chat.